Utility Player

June was great. I love this country, I love summertime, and I am abundantly blessed to spend a year at IJM growing and learning. If you're looking for a short summary of what June has been like for me, that's about it.

I have spent many hours praying that this would be the warmest year the UK has EVER had, and thus far, I think God might be answering my prayers :) I’m also increasingly confident that I will not cope well when winter rolls back around... however, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. June has looked like a lot of hard work, playing outside whenever possible, and spending time with friends. One of the highlights of the month was going to Dublin for a weekend to see The 1975 perform at Malahide Castle. (I can go on and on about how epic that trip was, so I’ll save you my over excitement.)

IJM UK Team

Community Relations Team

Friends take on Norwich

Dublin

Flat Connor attends The 1975

The 1975 at Malahide

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God taught me something really cool this month. As our Quarterly Prayer Day was approaching, it felt like no plans would settle into place. One important detail that we couldn’t sort out for QPD was who would lead the team in worship. A few days prior, I received an email requesting me, and three other (much more musically inclined) staff members to lead us. I had been unwillingly volunteered for this task, so naturally, I agreed to help :) I ended up playing the cajon in our all girl power band, and I played far too quickly and overall lacking in rhythm. Regardless, if you have talked to me in the past week, I have probably told you how proud I am of this feat. “Why?” you may ask?

My answer: because there was a need, and I tried my best :)

When I look back on the last two years, and especially the last five months that I’ve spent in the UK, I feel like God has continuously shoved me out of my comfort zone. It feels like every time I get comfortable, God calls me to stand back up, and push just a bit further. I could write a massive list of “new” things that I’ve tried in the last year, social situations that I’ve walked into alone feeling vulnerable and insecure, or attempted to do things that I’ve been ill equipped to do by my own standards. With each new thing that I have pushed myself to do, and each new situation that I have entered into alone, I have begun to feel quite brave. In fact, I wouldn’t even say that I feel brave anymore. Hell, I am brave.

I have found that these small spurts of bravery, are like a set of muscles. As I push myself to listen to God and not fear failure, the weight and fear seems to get lighter and lighter. It isn’t quite as intimidating to attend an event alone, or start a conversation with someone I’ve never met. I am not overcome and frozen by anxiety when asked to do something that I’ve never done before. Overtime, I have stopped putting pressure on myself to be perfect or ensure that I succeed. Now I just decide to be brave, leave the result and glory up to God, and not take myself quite as seriously.

I have started to think of myself in the same light as someone would think of a utility player on a baseball team. There are certainly some things I am more gifted at, and others that I may never be called to, but I want to be the player on the team who is willing to go where they are needed most. This comes with trusting that the coach wouldn’t put their player in a position that would jeopardize the success of the team. So basically, wherever God needs me, and whatever He calls me to do... I want to be obedient, show up, and trust that He knows what he's doing. (For all the baseball fans out there, I get that this isn’t exactly what a utility player is… but just roll with the metaphor).

Part of stepping out of my comfort zone has come organically. Living in another country, and leaving my community has provided an infinite amount of opportunities to feel uncomfortable and out of my element. But also, pushing myself out of my comfort zone has started to become a bit of a game. The more I do it, the more I seek opportunities to do it again. Partially because there is a bit of thrill that comes with stepping out, but mainly because I'm growing loads.

So here's to ditching security, and chasing after what God has for us every day. Happy June my friends!